The Jolly Old Elf’s Guide to French Press Coffee

The Jolly Old Elf’s Guide to French Press Coffee

By Santa Claus

Now, my dear friends, after a long night of delivering presents across rooftops and through blizzards, there’s one thing I cherish almost as much as cookies… a rich, warming cup of coffee. And not just any coffee—properly brewed French press coffee. It’s bold, comforting, and just the thing to keep an old fellow like me going through the busiest season of the year.

So gather ‘round the hearth, and let me show you how to brew a cup worthy of the North Pole.

Step 1: Start with Fresh Beans (No Naughty Shortcuts!)

Even the elves know—freshly ground coffee makes all the difference. Use whole beans and grind them just before brewing. For a French press, you’ll want a coarse grind, something like breadcrumbs. Too fine, and your coffee will taste bitter and sludgy—worse than coal in your stocking.

Step 2: Measure with Care

A good rule of thumb (or mitten, in my case) is:

1 tablespoon of coffee for every 4 ounces of water

Brewing for yourself? Use about 2 tablespoons for a standard mug. Brewing for a gathering? Scale it up—Mrs. Claus always insists on a full pot.

Step 3: Heat the Water Just Right

Bring your water to a boil, then let it sit for about 30 seconds. You’re aiming for around 200°F (93°C)—hot enough to extract the flavor, but not so hot it scorches the grounds.

Step 4: The Bloom (Let It Breathe!)

Add your coffee grounds to the press, then pour just enough hot water to cover them. Let it sit for about 30–45 seconds.

You’ll see the grounds puff up—this is called the “bloom,” and it releases trapped gases. Think of it like stretching before a sleigh ride.

Step 5: Pour and Steep

Now pour in the rest of your water, give it a gentle stir, and place the lid on with the plunger pulled up.

Let it steep for 4 minutes. Not 2, not 10—trust Santa on this one. Good things take just the right amount of time.

Step 6: Press Gently

Press the plunger down slowly and steadily. No need to rush—this isn’t a race with the reindeer.

If you feel too much resistance, your grind may be too fine. If it plunges too easily, it may be too coarse.

Step 7: Pour and Enjoy Immediately

Once pressed, pour your coffee right away. Leaving it sitting in the press can make it bitter—and nobody wants that kind of surprise.

Santa’s Final Tips

Warm your French press with hot water before brewing (just like warming up the sleigh).
Use filtered water for the cleanest taste.
Drink it black first—then add cream or sugar if you like.

There you have it, my friends—a cup of French press coffee that’s rich, smooth, and full of holiday spirit. Whether you’re preparing for a busy day or settling in by the fire, a well-brewed cup can make all the difference.

Now if you’ll excuse me, I hear the elves have just finished a fresh batch…

Ho ho ho—and happy brewing!